Silent Understanding
by ObviouslyADeathNoteFan
Summary: After a particularly bad nightmare, Raito takes comfort in talking to the world's greatest detective. Rated T for mentions of death and execution. Fluffy one-shot. LxRaito


**_AN_**

_... Ahem... *glances around nervously*  
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_Hello, fellow- AH! *dodges rotten tomatoes* Wait! Let me explain!_

_All right; first off, I'm so sorry (for the summary, and the following reason)! It's been around a month since I updated Wolf's Eyes or Call (Call being As The Ravens Call; I changed the title, if anyone noticed/cared). And, for that, this is a sort of peace offering/explanation-thingy, as well as a probably badly-written, fluffy one-shot. Perhaps I'm being too hard on myself... Then again, perhaps not... Ahghhh *facepalms*._

_I wanted to say, I'll probably start updating (don't put too much hope into this) around or sometime after Christmas. I think that's pretty much it.  
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_So, umm... Enjoy, I guess? Feel free to critique and point out flaws, mistakes, too much OOCness (probably), or plot-holes! Thanks for reading, fellow geeks!  
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_Word Count: 2,549 (AN not included)_

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note._**

0

The night began as usual.

Unseen clocks ticked in the dark, a sleeping figure shifted, a keyboard incessantly clacked, and a sleep-deprived, crouching detective stared at the only light source with unblinking, steel-gray eyes. He balanced on the balls of his heels, his back against the wall, and typed oddly with the laptop resting on top of his knees - a seemingly uncomfortable position to others, yet perfectly normal for him. His fingers flew swiftly over the keys. He halted upon hearing a small, distressed noise come from the teen next to him, shifting slightly as he felt the other male turn over and the chain connecting the two tug as Raito sharply yanked on it. Curious (and only slightly annoyed), L glanced at him.

Hmm.

This was unusual – Raito rarely made a sound during his sleep. _If Misa-san heard me say that, she'd probably call me a pervert_, he thought, amusement flickering briefly in his gray eyes, before his attention turned back to the shifting teen.

Brow slightly furrowed under his mess of wild hair, L watched as the auburn-haired boy clutched the chain.

_What are you dreaming of, Raito-kun? _L thought disinterestedly, turning back to his laptop. Once again, the sound of clicking keys filled the night, quickly joined by the slightly unsteady breathing of the male next to him.

Gradually, L became aware of Raito's hitching, quickening breaths, and surprisingly, a few choked sobs.

A nightmare...

L still thought it strange that the teen got nightmares this frequently; this was the third he'd had this week, and it was only Wednesday. He hadn't shown any signs of having nightmares (or any kind of dream, really...) during the surveillance. This must have been a new occurrence...

"Raito-kun," L said softly, reaching out to gently shake his shoulder.

No response.

"Raito-kun...?"

He felt oddly, curiously worried as Raito curled into a smaller ball, burying his face into a pillow, muffling another pitiful noise.

"Raito-kun?"

"Stop," Raito muttered. "Please, stop!"

"Raito-kun." He shook the teen's shoulder with a bit more force, not wanting another violent awakening. It was honestly a shock to see Raito this... this... frightened. The nightmares usually stopped within a few minutes – not this time, it seemed. Raito let out another noise, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood.

_What are you dreaming of, Raito-kun?_

"_Stop!_" Raito cried, jerking into a sitting position. His amber eyes, wide with a mixture of all-too-familiar emotions, quickly scanned the darkness of the room.

_There goes the laptop,_ L thought tiredly, watching it snap closed as it hit the ground with a _crack_. He really should have put that away...

That wasn't important right now; the uneven, terrified breathing was. Raito was hyperventilating.

"Raito?" L asked, trying to adjust his eyes to the sudden loss of light. Raito wasn't just hyperventilating now – he seemed to be having some sort of breakdown. With some caution, L reached out, feeling slight relief at finding that Raito hadn't bolted at the sound of his name. He jumped violently at the contact, however, and shoved L away from him before he had time to process the odd turn of events. L toppled, his balance on his heels thrown off at the sudden push.

With a thump, L winced as he hit the carpeted floor at a rather painful angle, narrowly missing the silent laptop (which he now suspected was broken, due to the lack of gentle whirring that always accompanied it). He stood before Raito really did try to bolt.

"Raito, calm down!" He cursed silently; he hadn't meant to be so loud. Shouting at the boy would do no good, and if the sound he heard after gave any indication of Raito's reaction, it wasn't good.

How did all of this happen in such a short amount of time? A minute ago, he was contentedly working, plucking random sweets off of a tray on the bedside table; now, he had to deal with a panicked, disoriented Raito. He was... almost wild... What on earth had terrorized him to this extent?

He quickly clambered back onto the bed, biting his lip – should he call Watari, or try to snap the teen back into reality? In that case, it'd have to be some sort of shock – something to bring him to his senses.

Whatever he did, he'd have to do it quickly.

With that in mind, a loud _smack_ immediately silenced the harsh cries and whimpers.

"Ryu... zaki?" he heard after a moment, feeling an odd sense of relief wash over him, as well as slight guilt for slapping the teen. Shaking his head, he pushed the feeling down, looking cautiously in Raito's general direction.

"Raito?"

"Did you... slap me?"

L felt the corners of his lips twitch in a small smile, fighting the laughter bubbling in his chest. Of course, Raito would focus on that.

"Yes, Raito-kun," he mentally cursed for previously ignoring the honorific, "You were hysterical."

"I'm-" A choked sound interrupted him, and L began to gently rub small circles into his back in a comforting manner.

"Are you alright?"

He tried, failing miserably, to answer. Hiccup after hiccup after sob prevented him from speaking for another few minutes, during which he scooted closer to L. Unconsciously, L was sure.

_Perhaps not, _he thought, feeling Raito's side press up against his. He squashed the urge to scoot away - an instinct built up over the years of being the world's greatest detective. It was rather easy, actually. Somehow, having the younger male that close to him felt... right. Well, perhaps not with Raito still shaking and obviously terrified of whatever his head had invented to so thoroughly frighten him, but...

He promptly ignored the bit of his brain yelling at him that a mass murder had snuggled up to him: Raito wasn't Kira. For now.

With a dull sense of damning certainty, he knew that his death would be by this boy's hands.

But... For now, he could have this – whatever this was – while it lasted. It was nice to finally feel someone this close to him, and not because they were actively trying to kill him. Though, the absence of the nightmare would have been preferable.

"I apologize for using such drastic measures to wake you," he said after a moment, hearing a hiccuping laugh in response.

"It's fine," Raito managed.

"Do you..." L hesitated.

"What?"

"Do you remember what you were dreaming about?"

A pause. Then, "No. I don't..."

"I sincerely doubt it was a very nice dream." He allowed a small smile as he heard another soft laugh.

"No," Raito said, swallowing harshly, "I don't think it was either... Did I say anything?"

"You said, 'Stop, please stop'..."

"I suppose that somehow adds to the percentage that I am Kira?" This time, the laugh was rather bitter. L's hand paused abruptly, and he looked over at the auburn head, meeting darkness. An invisible brow furrowed slightly as he felt Raito's head land softly against his shoulder.

"Why do you say that?"

"... I'm sorry, Ryuzaki. I guess..."

"You're lashing out because you know I witnessed your response to the nightmare; you want to try to erase the idea that you are weak in some way," L deduced softly, letting his head fall back against the wall with an unheard sigh. "You know, Raito-kun, anyone would have reacted the same way."

"That's true..."

A few moments of comfortable quiet passed, and L listened to Raito's breathing even out to it's normal, calm state.

"What are we doing?" Raito asked finally, lifting his head slightly to peer at L through the darkness with little success at seeing anything more than a mere outline, which could have easily been (and probably was) his mind playing tricks on him.

"I... am comforting Raito-kun. Is this a problem...?"

"No," Raito denied quickly, "It's... actually... It's nice."

"Mm," L agreed softly, moving his arm to a more comfortable position. He resumed his previous motions, rubbing Raito's shoulder with hesitant, gentle movements, allowing a small smile as Raito hummed quietly in appreciation. Well... That was unusual.

"Thank you," he said.

"For?"

"Waking me."

"I wasn't going to simply allow you to suffer, Raito-kun. If the situation had been reversed," he added quietly, "would you not have done the same for me?"

"I would. I can't stand by and watch people suffer, which is partly why I wanted to join this investigation in the first place."

"I see... Raito-kun...?"

"What is it?"

L hesitated, wondering if he should really ask the next question. Finally, "How much do you remember?"

"What do you mean?"

L sighed quietly, and noted curiously that Raito gave a small shudder. Realization struck him as he saw that his breath would have gone across the top of his ear. Saving Raito possible humiliation, he pretended not to notice this, and continued. "... You've heard my theory regarding Kira's power, and how it can pass between people."

"... Yes," Raito pushed. "Why?"

"If I'm right," L went on, "by simple logic, if someone were to use Kira's power, forget, and prove their innocence," he paused briefly as the teen sighed. He had the feeling that Raito knew what he was talking about, yet was reluctant to confirm his suspicions. "that person may not remember... certain events regarding the power."

"You think," Raito slowly clarified, "that if I was Kira, I might have... gaps, in my memory. Right?"

"... Yes," he finally said, feeling his heart drop oddly into his feet as Raito subtly tensed. He forced out the next words, wondering why they were so barely audible, and why they were _so difficult_ to get out. "I think Raito remembers in his sleep."

Raito felt as though L had metaphorically convicted him right then and there; he was absolutely right, and he probably knew it. Raito _couldn't_ remember certain things. Just like he couldn't remember the nightmares.

He couldn't remember going home after the entrance ceremonies to To-Oh university; he couldn't remember _why_ he knew there was a second Kira; he couldn't remember _why _he needed to keep Misa around, or _why_ he had to be her boyfriend (he was especially curious about that); he could remember only bits and pieces of the first few days of confinement. Everything after was as clear as a bell.

That was also around the time L said his personality did a 180.

If L was right, what would that mean... What would happen to him? If he didn't remember, he _couldn't_ be Kira, could he?

Could he...?

"I..." He choked on his own words. He cleared his throat. He _had_ to get the words out. "I think... I think you're right," he whispered.

L, to his horror, stayed silent for an eternity of a minute.

"I thought you might," he finally murmured, resuming the slow, rhythmic circles into Raito's shoulder once again. Raito swallowed harshly for what felt like the hundredth time that night.

"What now?" he asked softly. He felt as though he had willingly placed the noose around his neck, and now waited for the ground to drop from beneath his feet, leaving him to die. He waited for his execution, which he thought might not be entirely metaphorical. The thought sent a shudder down his spine, and he unconsciously moved even closer to the detective. He scoffed mentally at the thought that he was snuggling up to his executioner.

At that thought, he allowed his eyes to close, resigned to whatever lay ahead. It was too late to change it now, and he was honestly relieved at finally getting his worries and damning thoughts off of his chest.

"I don't know."

… He wasn't really expecting that, but felt a small amount of foolish hope spark somewhere deep inside of him.

"You don't... know?" Raito echoed, tilting his head once again, squinting to try to make anything out. _Under that mess of hair, I doubt I could, even if I tried_. He smiled at the thought. L stopped rubbing his shoulder, earning a slightly cautious glance from the teen.

"Tell me something, Raito-kun," L said suddenly, and by his movements, Raito guessed he had turned to look at him. Staring at each other in the dark. Raito fought a small chuckle before the seriousness of the situation fell back down onto him. "If you had the power to kill, would you?"

_Would you act as Kira, if you could?_

Raito winced, but kept his eyes on what he felt was L's stern expression.

"No," he answered truthfully, shaking his head slightly despite the fact that L probably wouldn't see it anyway. Well, he would probably feel his movements. "I wouldn't."

A moment passed.

"I believe you." It was a mere whisper, but it was heard.

Raito breathed out a relieved sigh, allowing his tense frame to relax against L's. Perhaps it was foolish, getting this comfortable around someone that thought you might be a mass murderer, but he felt... safe. Oddly secure.

He didn't want this to end.

That in mind, he allowed his head to once again rest against L's shoulder, vaguely curious as to why he would allow him to get this close to him in the first place. The nightmare, perhaps? He felt the need to comfort Raito? Was he overstepping L's unspoken boundaries? Making him uncomfortable...?

…Was he too nice or polite in his own odd way to say anything?

Why didn't this occur to him before?

Oh, right; he was too busy being a weakling to care.

His fears, nagging at his mind, dissipated after a moment of confusion as L's tentative, hesitant fingers encased his clenched fist in a gentle, uncertain hold. Raito, blankly puzzled by his actions, turned to question L. Again, he was met with darkness.

"Ryuzaki...?"

"Raito-kun?" His very tone was oddly quiet, as though he expected some sort of violent rejection. Raito wondered if such a thing had happened before; the thought made him oddly angry. Everything was odd about this, he decided, but it was nice nonetheless.

A moment of silent tension passed, and Raito suddenly found himself wondering what L was trying to pull, what sort of test he was trying to set into motion.

_What the hell,_ Raito thought, twisting his hand to interlock their fingers.

"Raito-kun?"

"Ryuzaki...?"

A million thoughts went through his head – he really had gone too far, hadn't he? He'd completely misread the detective's motives, had gone far passed L's comfort zone, had made him completely uncomfortable. He had a partner, didn't he? Or, had _had_ a partner, and Raito had stirred up old, painful memories – perhaps L wasn't interested, and was now thoroughly creeped out. Maybe Raito had ruined his relationship with L completely, just because he thought he was- maybe -

"I think you broke my laptop."


End file.
